Blog Posts from "Random Ravings" - Gameriot.com

F.E.A.R. 2 + DLC - Complete Review

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:59:34 -0400

Complete Review: Alma Won’t Kill You, But Boredom Might

Though FEAR 2 was released back in February ’09, the developers aren’t keen to see it forgotten. With a new DLC released, and a more affordable pricetag, curious gamers are starting to eye this game with renewed interest. Now seems like a good time for an honest review.

I originally purchased this for the PS3, and enjoyed the first level, but had to return it due to my hatred of playing FPS’s with a controller. Then to my surprise, Steam offered both the main game and the DLC for half price! I recall my famous last thoughts being: ‘Oh, what the heck? Might as well!’

Me and my stupid impulse buys.

Review Highlights

(For the TLDR Crowd)

FEAR 2 begins thirty minutes before the end of the first game. Taking the role of a soldier named “Becket”, a member of the elite ‘Delta Squad’, the player and his team mates are tasked with tracking down Genevieve Aristide, the president of Armacham. Due to the incriminating evidence found by the protagonist of the first game, linking Genevieve and Armacham to the incarceration of Alma and other telepathic experiments, she is due to be arrested.

Before they can reach their goal, however, the explosion from the end of FEAR 1 occurs, and Becket and his team are rendered unconscious.

Awakening later in a hospital, after undergoing some brutal and unscrupulous surgery, the Delta Squad find they are the unwitting subjects of more telepathy experiments, and are now gifted with heightened abilities (a.k.a bullet time). They continue to give chase to Genevieve through the ruined city, all the while being hunted by Armacham miliary, Replica soldiers, hideous mutants and Alma herself. It’s a struggle to survive against zzzzzzzzz…..

I’m sorry, dozed off there. If you played the first game, you’ll immediately recognise how familiar the story is. As in it’s the same goddam story. You’re an elite soldier, in an elite squad, who’s other members die one by one, while in pursuit of a person you really don’t care about, from the very first minute of the game until the last. Alma wants to kill you, but she never does, and in the end there’s a cliffhanger that’s about as fascinating as your average Twitter post.

WOW! Look out, Planescape: Torment, you’ve got competition!

To make matters worse, the story is delivered by dialogue so poorly written that even a D Grade movie director would cringe, and in text logs that read more like “SECRET HUMAN TELEPATHY RESEARCH COMPANIES FOR DUMMIES” then subtle hints to an overall storyline. The only way they could make things more obvious is if the characters spelt things out for you every chance they got.

Oh wait: THEY DO!

It’s best not to read too deeply into FEAR 2’s plot, since it’s truly more horrific then anything you fight in the game. Some of the characters lines were delivered so badly, I actually laughed in disbelief. How does this stuff get past the playtesters? Can’t they hear how god awful it sounds?

Conclusion: I’ve seen better things written on paper with crayons.

Graphics – Still Grey, But At Least We Go Outside!

On PC, FEAR 2’s graphics aren’t bad. They might be grey generic, and bland, but they aren’t bad. And compared to the PS3, they’re fantastic. Don’t ask me why the PS3 version looked so awful on my HD 40 inch Sony Bravia TV, but it did. I can honestly say that the PC version was a 150% improvement.

The prettiest level you’ll come across is the first, before the bomb goes off. It features a stunning amount of colour compared to the rest of the game; bright hotel settings, some interesting décor to destroy, a charming twilight over a glowing city. It’s nice. It’s what got me hooked when I first played it on the PS3.

Once that bomb goes off, however, it’s all starts to go downhill. Back to the dark corridors, back to the boring offices. You’re funnelled here, you’re channelled there. No branching paths or choices. They try to mix things up with a school level, but really that’s just another office in disguise. About the only parts that do stand out are the city streets.

The city has been nearly levelled after the explosion, with the radioactive dust casting an eerie red glow over everything. Charred corpses of civilians who didn’t have time to run litter the streets, and will disperse in a cloud of ash if you touch them. Compared to the inside of a building, the new tileset is a welcome change.

The biggest problem I had with the first game was the limited amount of set pieces. You saw the same hammer, the same sign, the same file cabinet or cluster of office desks a thousand times. There was no variety. FEAR 2 is equally as guilty, and the horror atmosphere suffers substantially because of it. Take the second level as an example: the hospital the Delta Squad wakes up in.

You wander around. It’s dark, it’s creepy. You find a blood trail. It leads to… a corpse on the toilet! Ahhh ooohhh scary. Then, a few rooms down, you find… the same corpse! Only in a different position! Keep pushing on, and you’ll discover an examination table with a doctor lying on it, stuck full of needles. In fact, you’ll find no fewer then four of the exact same doctors, on the exact same tables, filled with the same needles. Obviously this kills any kind of tension the game can work up. The impact of the ‘scares’ just wane into tedium.

And it’s not limited to the dead character models. The enemies have ridiculously few skins. The soldiers are similar to the point where I struggled to tell the difference between the Replicas and the regular army. Not that it mattered. The crawling mutants have one skin only, so even they stop being interesting after the first few.

If there’s anything that’ll keep today’s gamers happy, it’s the gore. Limbs and heads can be blown off with ease, showering the screen in gratuitous amounts of carnage. The best scene in the whole game involves an up close, full frontal, slow motion decapitation. Don’t know how that got through our Australian classification groups.

The final verdict? A mild upgrade from the original FEAR, but not much. You won’t be gawking at anything here.

Gameplay – Cause No Game is Complete Without Bullet Time

Ignore the grey graphics. Forget the horror. Strip away the repetitive levels and terrible, terrible story. What do you have left?

A pretty solid shooter.

If nothing but the action matters to you, FEAR will definitely scratch that gun-crazed itch. Fights are fast, furious, and bloody. Enemies are plentiful and know how to surround you, but your assortment of weapons will get the job done. Certain sections are just continuous maim-fests that would keep even the most trigger happy of gamers entertained.

That said, it still has its glaring flaws. I played it on hard, and barely broke a sweat. Seasoned gamers won’t find much of a challenge here. Since around two thirds of your adversaries are regular humans, all you need to do is aim for that great big melon on their necks; a couple of shots to the head, and even the toughest grunts go down. Console players might struggle a touch more, but those of us using mouse and keyboard will be mowing baddies down like so much canon fodder. It does get old eventually.

On the plus side, there’s no regenerative health! It’s back to the good old medpacks and armour. This will prevent you from running headlong into battle every time, at least, and perhaps use a grenade occasionally. Well, maybe. The presence of “bullet time” makes even the most frantic battles a cinch. Hence why I never used it until the final levels, out of a sheer desire to get the game over with faster.

Another mechanic Monolith tried to introduce was the “cover” system. Certain objects, such as tables and file cabinets, can be pushed over for you to hide behind. You will never, ever use this. In the time it takes to knock the cover over, you’ve taken twice the amount of gunfire you would have received if you’d just straight out attacked. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Monolith (in a moment of sheer brilliance no doubt) tried to encourage people to use the system… by taking out the ******* lean ability.

That’s right. You can’t lean. No looking around corners. No peering past rumble. What is the point in that? It just means that even if you do play with the cover, you can’t do anything but look over the top of it and expose your whopping great noggin. Gee, how handy. I’d much rather cop bullets to the face then to the side.

Those issues aside, it’s run ‘n’ gun to the core, and does it pretty well. There’s a few mech piloting and gun turret sections to break up the monotony, but otherwise just hold your finger on those “forward” and “fire” buttons, and let the bullets fly.

Guns – Hint: You Can Actually Hold Three!

There aren’t a massive amount of guns in the game. Two machines guns, two shotguns, and your basic pistol are the ones you’ll come across moat. They’re fast, they’re accurate, and the ammo is plentiful. The shotguns aren’t quite as powerful as they could be, and you’ll need to put the damn things in someone’s mouth for a decent gore explosion.

Later on you’ll find some heavier weapons; a rocket launcher, flamethrower, sniper rifle, straight-beam laser, and a one-of-a-kind plasma canon. They’re not bad, but really, nothing compares to the Nail Gun. It was a favourite in the original FEAR; why does pinning a body to a wall provide such endless amounts of amusement?.

The Nail Gun isn’t as deadly this time around, firing large green syringes instead of actual nails, and you’ll need to land a few hits before the final one pins them. It’s still loads of fun, and the end results are the same. I’ve always wanted a Replica Piñata.

While you have three slots for weapons, I assumed that two were for your main weapons, and one was for your side arm, alla the CoD games. It wasn’t until right near the end that I accidentally grabbed another weapon while my pistol was equipped, and realised I could hold a third full size gun as well. Well bummer. Played most of the game with only two main weapons.

Guess that says a lot for the difficulty, ay?

Enemies – Attack of the Creepy Crawlies

As with the original, there isn’t much of a variety in enemies. You’ll be fighting regular military for the first few levels. They wear mostly blue gear, and come in machinegun, shotgun, and flame thrower flavours. They have little to no armour, making them easy pickings for the ‘boom headshot!’ crowd. The flamethrowers are especially laughable, as you can simply shoot the tanks on their backs.

Later you come across your first crawlers: skinny, boney guys that can crawl across any surface. They’re fast, and they can pin you, but they don’t do much damage, and their single model/skin gets old over time. The game’s favourite trick is to just throw hundreds at you in a small area, and hope you can’t mow them all down too quickly.

Then the Replica’s are activated. These guys look, sound, and act exactly like the regular military, except they have a brown hue to their clothes instead of blue. They have more armour, but their heads are still every bit as vulnerable. They can also carry the heavier weapons, making them slightly more dangerous. Later, you’ll meet Replicant “Ninja’s”, which are basically the crawling guys with cloaking abilities. Considering the awesomeness of their introduction, I was disappointed about that.

General AI of the humanoid enemies isn’t bad. Not as revolutionary as the first game, but they certainly know how to flank and use cover. Unfortunately they have the uncanny ability to know exactly where you all, all the time, every time. This is largely why the game is run and gun: because there’s no way to use stealth. Once alerted, enemies will continue to hunt you relentlessly until either you or they are dead. No way to hide from bots with wall hacks I guess.

Even though they’re cheaters and relatively smart, they also have moments of amazing stupidity. Usually in the form of a grenade. The enemy’s abilities to throw grenades is, for some reason, very unpredictable. Three out of five times, it’ll bounce off something and might even return to them. They won’t run from it. Sometimes the throw will be ok, but then their team mates will chase it, like dogs after a stick! It’s hilarious and odd at the same time.

The next notable enemies are the Mechs, which are about the only challenge the game has to offer. They come in two forms; a smaller man sized one that doesn’t show favour to shotguns, and an enormous heavy monstrosity wielding more fire power then a paranoid redneck. Both types use shields for protection, which need to be deactivated using electrical sources or EMP grenades. Then it’s just a matter of unloading everything into them until a weak spot appears. Figuring out how to takes these guys down is half the fun.

Further into the city you’ll encounter another mutant. The “Puppet master”, as I nick named him, is a strange, loping freak, no doubt formed in the explosion’s aftermath. This creature demonstrates some paranormal abilities, and is able to make your screen flash white and red if you get to close. While he doesn’t deal much damage himself, he does have the power to ‘control’ any dead bodies around him; lifting them up via red psychic threads and making them fire weapons still clutched in their hands.

If the Mechs provide the only challenge, the Ghosts will provide the only apprehension. It seems some of the city’s residents aren’t pleased about being disintegrated, and are still hanging around as angry, vengeful spectres. Encountering these beings can be unnerving, especially since their wispy forms are hard to see. The best parts of the game are the “haunted areas”: places where your flashlight doesn’t work, the screen flashes black, and the ghosts come continuously from all angles. I wouldn’t say it’s scary… but definitely tense.

And finally, we have Alma herself. Poor Alma. Poor, useless Alma. It’s must be so frustrating: the most powerful psychic entity known to man… and she’s reduced to walking slowly past your field of vision in a vain attempt to shock you. Well, ok, she can attack you this time. But any assault that can be deflected by a quicktime event isn’t really life threatening. Unlike the first game, Alma fails to frighten even once.

Come on, Monolith. Give the girl a break. Make her really scary for FEAR 3: give her a Bible to carry! Then she only has to ask if we ‘have some spare time to talk about Jesus’, and players won’t be able to flee fast enough!

Sound – Is That Asthma Or Are You Just a Wimp?

Sound in FEAR 2 is ok, but not used to the maximum of its potential. I was really looking forward to the school level; I expected all kinds of noises. Children whispering, laughing, crying, singing ring-around-the-rosie. I didn’t get any of that. Think I heard some sobbing once, but that was it.

Since it's so desperately trying to be a horror, most of the sound only happens when something surprising or ‘scary’ occurs. This just goes to show how little Monolith know about horrors. Sure, silence can be disturbing, but have they ever played Silent Hill? Anyone who has can tell you; hearing terrifying ambient noises off screen is a whole lot scarier then a void.

While most of these ‘fright’ noises are music cues or sharp violins, the most annoying one has got to be Becket’s heavy breathing. The same tactic was used in the first game; something would happen, and the main character would start to breathe as if he was beginning to panic. If it only happened occasionally, no problem. But they use it all the freakin’ time. It’s like they knew the game wasn’t that frightening, so they used the breathing as a way of saying “Look! This is scary! The character is scared! You should be too! Be scared, dammit!”

It might be nit picking, but it got on my nerves. Shut up, Becket, ya big wuss.

As for the sounds of battle, it’s the usual bang bang stuff. It’s loud, it’s satisfying. The Mechs especially have nice whirrs and groans about them. And the sound of that Nail Gun… ka-pish ka-pish ker-shplat. Music to my ears.

DLC – Drop the Act, Earn the Win!

In September, a short, four level DLC was released for FEAR 2 called “Reborn”. This side story puts you in control of a Replicant soldier, who is contacted by Paxton Fettel: the antagonist from the first game that died unceremoniously at its end. Seems old Paxy isn’t as dead as we all hoped he was, and needs help rejoining the land of the living.

While I once again had issues with the story (I ******* hated Paxton Fettel, lamest bad guy ever. I don’t want him to come back for FEAR 3), and even with the length (roughly 45 minutes), I can safely say I enjoyed the DLC more then all of the main game combined.

Mainly because it chose a side! Reborn completely dropped the whole try hard horror thing, and firmly stuck with the shooter stance. And it was awesome. This DLC sees you blast your way through Replicant ranks, with the bare minimum in weapons and fire power. Enemies plow through walls at you, a highway full of snipers tries to slow you down. Then, coolest of all, you fall through a sideways building, busting up cubicles and doorways on the way down.

This tiny expansion held more imagination and fun moments then all of FEAR 2, which in a way is almost embarrassing. Sure, you can finish it faster then an episode of True Blood (FEAR needs more vampires), and the ending is full of ‘meh’. But hell, I might even play through it again soon, just to get my shooter fix.

If you didn’t need to own the original game to play it, I’d say shell out the ten bucks for the expansion and just stick with that. Even if it does mean suffering through that melodramatic Paxton prat again. Ugh.

Conclusion

FEAR 2 is game born into the wrong genre, and raised by parents who are too set in their ways. Rather then letting it evolve, or even change, they’ve continued to stifle its true potential; forcing it to conform to an expectation it simply can’t adhere too.

Or to put it bluntly: the limitations of the FEAR universe make it unsuitable to be a horror, and until Monolith figures this out, future titles will continue to be underwhelming. They need to focus their attention on the things they can actually do right. Namely good, old fashioned, straight out shooting.

This may require them to drop the FEAR series altogether and make something more devoted to action… but I don’t really see that happening. A lot of (strange, easily pleased) people love FEAR just the way it is. And when there’s a cash cow to be milked…

I guess it’ll take FEAR 3’s success or failure to prove me otherwise. Pray Alma is actually scary by then. As with with most games, it's a little hard to sum it all up with a simple number at the end. So instead, the rating will be based on the level of enjoyment I got out of it.

FEAR 2: A bargain bin buy only.

Enjoyment Rating: 4/10

Dead Space: Extraction – Review

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 11:25:01 -0400

Fans of last years survival horror “Dead Space” will be glad to know that the much awaited prequel is here at last. The catch? It’s on Wii, and also an on-the-rails shooter. Yes, I’ll forgive you for not leaping for joy.

“Dead Space: Extraction” allows gamers to see how it all began; from the second the Marker is moved and the Colony goes crazy, to the moment Isaac and his unfortunate crew hail the Ishimura for landing.

Review Highlights

(For the TLDR Crowd)

Better Know Your Game Developers – Suda51

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:38:00 -0400

(This was originally posted on Limit Break, but since some upcoming Suda-titles are going to be Hellforge material, thought I'd better post it on here as well)

If there’s one thing I love doing, it’s collecting rare and unique games made by developers who deviate from the mainstream. Discovering some dusty title traded in by a less knowledgeable person is like finding treasure; the more obscure the better. Unfortunately, this also makes it very hard for me to discuss my finds with others, since no one has even heard of some of these games, let alone their creators.

During my blogging time, I’ll probably want to post news related to future game releases by these lesser known designers, and understandably I’d expect most reactions to be “Huh?”. So to better help you understand my excitement, I’ll be doing little introductions for each developer, letting you know what they’ve done in the past, and why their games are worth your interest.

First up, one of my all time favourites:

, welcome to Hellforge!

FFXIII: A Novel Prequel?

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 10:29:08 -0400

Those who have been watching the "Special" section of the Official FFXIII Japanese website would have seen a new addition recently. Square has annouced "Special #4": a series of short stories, leading up to the starting point of XIII, with the first one called "Episode Zero: Promise".

Some fans were upset that the prequel wasn't an anime or a PSP game or even a lame DS title. Personally I love novel tie-in's even more then some of those (burn in hell, Nintendo DS), so this is all very exciting. It's just a shame that the stories are only being released on the Japanese website (so far), and most likely in Japanese. We'll just have to wait until some devoted fans translate them (probably take all of a few days).

Another interesting point is that Square has skipped over Special #3 to annouce this. What could #3 be that it warrents being held back? Hmm... interesting. We'll keep an eye on that while we're waiting for the first episodes release.

Valkyria Chronicles II Coming to the US

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:51:08 -0400

Hooray! Valkyria Chronicles 2 is going to make it out of Japan! Thank god for that.

Sega made the official annoucement only a few days ago, and while there's still no word yet on a european release, it shouldn't be far away. Coming in Summer 2010 for the US, it's currently PSP only, though a console port hasn't been ruled out completely. Sega also left a nice message for it's Valk 1 fans, as well as other info sources for us to follow, should we be interesting in Valk 2's progress:

And here's another quick trailer.

Dead Before Dawn Needs Your Help!

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:54:47 -0400

Seems the folks working on the much awaited "Dead Before Dawn" campaign have run into a spot of trouble: the computer of one of the main designer's has died, putting the Halloween release date in jeopardy. They're calling for help, either in the form of small cash donations, or pieces of unwanted computer hardware, in order to get the project up and running again as soon as possible.

If being a good samaritan isn't reward enough for you, they're also going to put the names of everyone who donates $10 or more into the game, as an Easter Egg to hunt down and gloat over.

For those of you who don't know what "Dead Before Dawn" is, you'll find the trailer for it below. The most faithful and amazingly accurate recreation of the awesome "Dawn of the Dead" movie ever! I drool over it almost as much as the Black Mesa mod, and will definitely be donating $15 next pay day if it means getting the mod out on time. Romero ftw!

FFXIII Updates: News, Screenshots and Website

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 09:01:21 -0400

Square Enix recently held a "FFXIII Premier Party", where a ton of new information and media was released:

And finally, a whole bunch of new screenshots. Some were released in the Famitsu scans, but these are obviously better quality. Damn, Jihl looks so very cool. Can't wait to get more details on her.

I also took the liberty of adding some commentary dialoge inside the pictures that might, could, possibly, maybe appear in the english dub. Honest.





























Source 1
Source 2
Source 3

Diablo 2 Revival - Hellforgians Unite!

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 08:37:14 -0400

For the past two days, Sol and I have been reliving the joy of Diablo 2, and figure it's about time we invite the rest of you. We're playing on USwest, soft core ladder for now. Might upgrade to hardcore later once we get into the swing of things (At the moment I'm so reckless I've already carked it three times by jumping into hordes of a lightning imbued enemies fearlessly).

If we can get enough people together, we could even start a little group. "Hellforgians" anyone? Heh. We might even come up with a few guidelines, like giving uniques and rares to those who need them, staying together to maximise experience, all that jazz.

It might actually be interesting to expirement with some different builds. Let's face it, everyone's made enough cookie cutters in their time. With a game this old, that'd only make things boring. Personally I'm remaking my Plaguezon from back in the Flagshipped days. She's a lot of fun; those Flayers don't stand a chance. Sol's still trying to figure out which way to take his Barb.

We're lvl 22 at the moment, and collected a few items to help a Necro, Paladin or Assassin get started. Anyone interestied? We'll happily help you catch up.

Let's give D2 one last hurrah before 3 comes and kills every ounce of replaybility the old sprites have in them. Our account names are as to be expected: SolInvictus and Project_Xii. Add us, biatches!

Update:
In regards to making games for people to join, it'd probably be easiest if we called them "Hellforge#" (# being a number between 1-9), and the password "Pass". Easy as.

Shadow of the Munny - Mini Munny Colossus!

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 21:09:20 -0400

A user by the name of Matthew 'servotron' Ellison over on the Sprite Stitch Boards, recently bought a blank "Munny" doll:

and turned it into...

Complete with Mini Wander and Mini Wander-Mashing Mace! All we need is a Mini Agro, and the scene would be complete :P

Anime Update - 31/08/09

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 10:48:11 -0400

Guess who's been trolling again! Trolling DVD stores anyway.

Where does all this anime keep coming from? Release dates say they've been out for years, yet I've never seen or heard of them yet! And they all look so interesting on the case too. But more on those later.

Despite spending 116 hours on FFXII these past few weeks, I've still found time to watch a few anime here and there:

"The story begins in 1629 Kanagawa during Tokugawa Tadanaga's rule. The daimyo staged a tournament where the participants fought with traditional weapons rather than bokken ("wooden sword"). The story revolves around the first match between the one-armed swordsman Fujiki Gennosuke and the blind samurai Irako Seigen and deals with the circumstances that led the two to participate in Tokugawa's tournament."

Oohh very interesting. I love a good, bloody sword fight. And considering the series is apparently best known for its "graphically realistic violence and nudity", sounds like I'd be getting plenty of that. This has definitely made it to my "must see" list.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's about all for now. I'll try to have those reviews up shortly. Aside from anime, I also discovered the final chapters of the Hellsing manga, translated at last. Sad to see a good series end, but it was decent all the same. I sincerely hope Alucard will return in some fashion... perhaps in some proper prequel versions of Hellsing: The Dawn? Fingers crossed.

Don't be shy with those reviews, people! Let us know what you've watched!

Better Know Your Game Developers – Suda51

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 10:21:29 -0400



If there’s one thing I love doing, it’s collecting rare and unique games made by developers who deviate from the mainstream. Discovering some dusty title traded in by a less knowledgeable person is like finding treasure; the more obscure the better. Unfortunately, this also makes it very hard for me to discuss my finds with others, since no one has even heard of some of these games, let alone their creators.

During my time on Limit Break, I’ll probably want to post news related to future game releases by these lesser known designers, and understandably I’d expect most reactions to be “Huh?”. So to better help you understand my excitement, I’ll be doing little introductions for each developer, letting you know what they’ve done in the past, and why their games are worth your interest.

First up, one of my all time favourites:

, welcome to Limit Break!



Real World Halo Warthog

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:17:03 -0400
I'm not usually one for posting about how cool something from Halo is, but this I just couldn't pass up.

Early in August, Cockatoo Island in Sydney Harbour, Australia, was host to a Halo 3: ODST event. As part of the show, Xbox Australia brought over some of their Weta made props from the scrapped Halo movie; one of which turned out to be...

The Halo Warthog, fully functional and detailed to the T. Midnight Update was lucky enough to drive the sucker, as well as record their experience. Sporting tusks, a machine gun, warning labels and enough grunt to flatten... well, grunts, it's quite possibly one of the coolest game related real-world creations I've seen.

Could you imagine plowing through the streets in this thing? Taking road rage to a whole new level?

Way cooler then a Puma.

Gamer of the Week #10 - DDRage

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:11:30 -0400
Dance Dance Revolution. Go to any local arcade, and you'll no doubt find a kid there, spinning and dancing like some kind caffeine fueled machine, putting those around him to shame. There's always one. It'll look easy when he does it, but should you choose to challenge his superior DDR skills, only humiliation and possible injury awaits... if not to yourself then to something else.

Here's why some people just shouldn't play coordination games, even in the safety of their own homes. Make sure you watch it all the way to the end, you'll see what I mean. (NSFW)

FFXIV: Jobs and Monsters Revealed

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 05:59:58 -0400

Seems Square Enix sent Koku Gamer a series of 11 new screenshots, revealing some new monsters and character jobs in the upcoming game:

"The new jobs seem to be ‘Marauder’, ‘Pugilist’ and ‘Weaver’. The first title suggests a sort of tank sub-job, with the opposite possibly being the Pugilist; which will no doubt be a brawling class. The Weaver could either refer to a magic-based class or an actual weaver of clothes; our money’s on the former."
Jobs

Ogre

New FFXIII Info Revealed at GamesCom 09

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 05:27:11 -0400



Square Enix was quite generous with their info at the recent GamesCom gathering, revealing not only a number of new game features, but a possible release date too! Some of the most notable points:

As well as all this info, a number of new screenshots were released. You'll find them below.
Things are looking good, people! FFXIII will be on our shelves before we know it ; )

Source 1, Source 2, Source 3, Source 4

Final Fantasy Enemies: The Cockatrice

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 09:24:32 -0400

The Myth

The original Cockatrice myth extends back nearly two thousand years ago, appearing in one of the worlds earliest encyclopaedias. Said to be created when an egg laid by a rooster is incubated by a toad or snake, the resulting creature has the body of a dragon, with the head of a fowl. This makes it very similar to the Basilisk, which is born from the egg of a snake that's incubated by a cockerel.

The Cockatrices unusual creation gives it a number of deadly abilities, such as turning living beings into stone with a single glance, or breath that can kill instantly. Unlike the Basilisk, it also possesses wings, so it can fly to places its serpentine cousin can’t.

Like all mythical creatures, it has weaknesses; the weasel is said to be immune to the Cockatrices stare, and so can kill it, while the sound of a rooster crowing invites the same fate.

Though I imagine a sharp sword to the neck would be just as effective.

: All but VI and IX

The cockatrice has been a Final Fantasy staple, appearing in all but two games of the series. Most of its forms have resembled the original myth, at least in some way.




Starting off fairly plain and unimaginative, Square’s Cockatrice remained that way until the advent of 3D (FFVII), before suddenly getting outright ridiculous in IX and XI. While these designs made for decent monster encounters, it wasn’t until FFXII that the Cockatrice became something to be remembered, and almost characters within themselves:



FFXII’s Cockatrice could easily be the best designed creature in the game. Round and bird-like, they maintain their connection to the original myth by having distinct reptilian qualities, such as clawed hands instead of wings, and a long, scaly tail. They also have a unique travelling method; choosing to curl into a ball and roll lazily around the landscape, rather then waste energy by waddling.

As an added bonus, their new forms came with an amazing amount of personality, and the Cockatrice very quickly evolved from a simple enemy, to a much-loved NPC! Many fun quests revolved around these cute, rotund chickens, especially after your party found the “Feather of the Flock”, and gained the ability to speak with them. Ever heard a fat bird talking with a cockney accent? You can’t help but laugh.

If you’re not travelling all over the world, tracking down a few tame ones that decided to “go out and find themselves”, you’re protecting them from a relative that isn’t quite as friendly:



The dreaded “Cluckatrice” and its ravenous “Chickatrice” brood are submitted as Marks in an early hunt quest for your party. Low level players remember it ‘fondly’, especially if they chose to challenge it earlier then they should. What adventurer wouldn’t look at these gorgeous balls of fluff and think “Hah! No problem! We’re eating chicken tonight!”? Well, before their brains get pecked out through their eye sockets, anyway.

The Cluckatrice could lay waste to an ill prepared party, turning members to stone or simply helping her chicks peck them to pieces. Many have found themselves fleeing to the nearest save crystal with these fouls fowls hot on their heels, where they’d sheepishly patch themselves up and then slink away, swearing to return later and reap revenge. There’s a certain amount of shame in admitting you were bested by a chicken.

The Cockatrice characters were so loved, that one even appeared in the later Final
Fantasy Tactics A2 sequel as a reoccurring villain! The “Crushatrice” and his chicks encounter the player on numerous occasions, and many have compared him to Ultros for the number of times he battles and flees the party.

Being a huge fan of these creatures, I can only hope that they’ll make a cameo appearance in FFXIII, and not revert to some kind of inferior design. I mean, just look at those rolly polly feathered fiends! What’s not to love?

New "Rage" Trailer Even Sexier Then The Screenshots

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 02:44:56 -0400
Wow. I just have nothing to say about this. Other then "It makes Fallout 3 look like a collection of stiff moving toys and limited tilesets". This game... looks... ...

Epic.

New FFXIII Character Revealed - Yaag Rosch

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 02:31:54 -0400
Recent scans from the Japanese gaming/manga magazine "V-Jump" reveals a new FFXIII Character: Lieutenant Colonel Yaag Rosch.

Some may recognize him from the E3 trailer. From what I can make out of the garbled Google Translation, Rosch will be leading an Elite unit of the government's military (PISCOM?) against Lightning and her crew. Their role could be likened to the Turks, from FFVII.

Rosch is described as having a "strong sense of justice", with Cocoon's peace and safety his main concern. The translation also suggests that he "questions the military's government". Maybe he'll defect and join your squad?

Skill wise, it seems he specializes in heavy weaponry, and is perhaps able to summon/ride Odin. The Odin summon is described as a white horse, allowing the summoner to ride in and cut down enemy soldiers at whim.

At least, that's what I can make out. Feel free to look at the website yourself and see if you can derive more! Good news all the same!



Monster Hunter 3 - The Mighty Will Fall?

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:49:51 -0400

Odd things going on with Wii's Monster Hunter Tri. After a magnificent first week in Japan, reaching half a millions sales in total, the subsequent week dropped off to nearly 1/5 of that. Retailers have resorted to "sales specials", selling the game at half price just to move some of the remaining 400k copies off the shelves.

But with a 40/40 Famitsu rating, it can't be because the game is bad. Perhaps it's just a niche market, and 600 thousand people was everyone that was waiting for the game? Perhaps that's the total number of people who actually have Wii's (or at least the ones who bothered to dust them off for this game). Who knows, what I'm concerned about is whether this will affect the North American March 2010 release date, or more importantly, the chance of it being released in Europe at all.

Considering I'm replaying FFXII simply for the ability to Hunt all 80 of those rare creatures all over again, I'm going to be well unhappy if Monster Hunter doesn't make it to Aus. Playing Freedom on that piddly PSP just doesn't cut it. Big monsters need big screens, dammit!

Source: Kotaku



Gamers of the Week #9 - When Wii's Attack

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 23:58:03 -0400
Aaaahh the Wii. What glorious acts of household destruction await those who don't heed the precautions and wear that wrist strap. TV's, glass, vases, faces... even cats have fallen victim to the wrath of the dreaded Wii Mote. I mean, I knew Nintendo was evil (just look at Mario's mustache), but this is taking things to a whole new level! The Wii must be stopped before it strikes again! Here are some of the most famous incidents; watch, so you may better know your enemy.

I don't know which is funnier. The fact that he's a fully grown man, calling for his Momma cause he made a boo-boo, or that he thinks tapping the top of the TV is going to magically repair it.

Who couldn't see this coming. There's a reason why we don't sell those accessories in Gamestop anymore.

And you thought the TV was going to cop it again. One of the lucky ones. Much easier to replace a remote then a $700 TV.

Got any favourite Wii attacks? Post the links below!

New Silent Hill: Shattered Memories Images

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 08:27:44 -0400

Silent Hill 1's re-imagining, "Shattered Memories", is not far away (Oct 13). Konami has released a few more teaser images, just to whet our appetites. Though in truth, they leave a lot to be desired...

I love the Silent Hill series, and have played all but the first game, so the idea of a reboot was more then exciting. At least until I heard it was coming on Wii, PS2 and PSP only, and saw the screenshots. Disappointment. Putting Shattered Memories on low-res consoles probably won't help boost sales none, nor does it really do justice to the long time fans.

To make matters more dubious, the developers say that the game will involve no combat; instead it will focus on avoiding enemies and puzzle solving. Good or bad thing? I'm not sure. Combat was never a strong point of Silent Hill anyway, so simply getting rid of it altogether might be a good way to bring back the tension and fear.

Guess we'll see when it comes. Enjoy these gloriously polygoned jaggies!

FEAR and Silent Hill Theme Park

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 07:24:54 -0400

What's better then playing your favourite horror game? How about actually being part of it? It's something that fans of creepy mental torture can usually only dream about... until recently.

Working in conjunction with Konami, Jeff Schiefelbein's "Sinister Pointe" theme park has opened two "Maze" attractions; one based on the Silent Hill franchise, the other based on FEAR. The catches? It's in Calfornia, and only running for the month of October. So unless you want to book a ticket for America, I guess the rest of us will just have to look on in envy.

Hopefully someone will upload videos or descriptions of what goes on in the mazes. We can only imagine what horrors await. Pyramid Head and his enormous knife? Alma appearing out of nowhere and vanishing just as fast? Creepy mannequins that move when you're not looking?

Goddamit. I'm so jealous.



New Tales of Vesperia Anime Images

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 09:18:40 -0400

Less then two months to go before the new Tales of Vesperia anime movie "The First Strike" arrives (Oct 3), and Famitsu has released some brand new images for us to drool over.

For those who know the game and wonder where the anime fits in: "The First Strike" is a prequel, and helps develop the back stories for many of the characters. Like most of the Tales series, it will probably only be released in Japan, leaving us poor fans to acquire it through other means. * sadness *

Considering I have to wait for the PS3 version to arrive before I can even play the damn game, I guess this will help sooth the pain while I wait. All the Tales series have been brilliant so far, so it'll be interesting to see what they can achieve with a single high budget movie!

Now here's the eye candy, showing a few of the characters you know and love:

Anime Updates and Requests – 10/08/09

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 09:39:18 -0400

Anime updates! Haven’t had time to watch much personally, but certainly acquired a few. Taking Taggu’s advice, I got the entire Blood+ series. Haven’t had time to watch it, but been impressed with the art at least.

For those following them, or at least waiting until they near completion, both Valkyria Chronicles and Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood have reached their 19th episodes, meaning there’s only seven weeks left! Yay! I’ve been putting off watching them for so long, can’t wait till their done.

Its tax time here in Australia, so I’ve had an excess of that lovely money stuff floating around. What better way to take some unneeded zero’s out of one’s bank account then to buy some awesome anime? My recent purchases have included:

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time (Movie)
Brave Story (Movie)
Watchmen: Tales of the Black Freighter (Movie)
Witchblade (Complete Series)
The Tower of Druaga: The Aegis of Uruk (Seasons 1)

Well, I’m hoping they’re all awesome. I might write reviews for them as I watch them, but if anyone else has seen those ones, feel free to let us know.

I have a bad habit of just buying things on impulse, and while that has led to some of my best discoveries, it’s also resulted in some bitter disappointments. I think it’s time I start taking advantage of the community here at Limit Break, and make them my guinea pigs hehe!

Or to be more precise, ask you guys to write reviews for the anime I’m curious about, if you’ve seen them. No need to actually go out and watch it for my benefit… unless you really want to Anyway, I’ve scoured my local DVD warehouse, and put together a list of new and old series that have really caught my eye:

Blassreiter – 2008, 24 Episodes



“The story is set in a fictional Germany and centers around the outbreak of biomechanical creatures named "Demoniacs", who rise from corpses and attack people mindlessly. The Demoniacs have the ability to merge with most technology including cars and motorcycles, not only gaining control of them but also enhancing their performance greatly.

Against them is a group of people known as XAT, Xenogenesis Assault Team, who police these Demoniacs in an attempt to keep the peace and discover the reasons for the "Demoniac" change. All the while, a number of human-turned-Demoniacs appear. Some use their powers for good whilst others for evil. One will rise above all other Demoniacs to become the "Blassreiter".”

Wow. Well it looks and sounds cool, but I’m not against getting some feedback. Anyone seen this fairly new anime? The only thing that does worry me is that it seems to be based on a manga, and the manga is classified as “on going”. Hmmmmm… well we can only hope the anime is a complete story.

I’ll probably get it regardless though. It means it’s in Germany! Awesome.

Coyote Ragtime Show – 2006, 12 Episodes



“The legendary Pirate King Bruce has been killed by Madame Marciano, the boss of the galactic criminal guild. His bequest to his young daughter Franca is ten billion space dollars hidden in a complex custom vault somewhere on the planet Graceland.

However, Graceland is now in such a state of civil war that the president of the Milky Way Federation threatens to blow up the planet in a week. Mister, a notorious space pirate, his sidekicks Bishop and Katana, and his longtime rival Swamp must help Franca get to her inheritance before either Madame Marciano and her twelve android Assassins or private detective Angelica Burns get to them.”

I’ve heard a lot about this show, but to me it just looks like a watered down version of Cowboy Bebop. Maybe with a dash of Gun X Sword thrown in. Seems pretty harmless at 12 episodes though. Worth it? Yay or nay? See, this is why I need you people!

Now and Then, Here and There – 2000, 13 Episodes

“While on top of a smoke stack in an industrial park, the main protagonist Shūzo "Shu" Matsutani is transported to another world after attempting to defend an unknown girl, Lala-Ru. Lala-Ru possesses a pendant containing (somehow) a vast reservoir of water and she has the ability to control that water.

In this new world, Shu is beaten and interrogated. He is forced to join an army of children and pillage in search of water. He wishes to return home and also find the mysterious girl whom he tried to protect.
Much of the series deals with serious moral questions relating to war, the cost of war, and the exploitation of children.”

Wow, REALLY old one here. I wonder why I’ve never heard of it? Probably the cover that caught my eye more then anything (see right). I’ve had at least one fan recommend me this in the past, but it appears to be rare in retail (like FLCL), and therefore quite pricey. Will have to hear a few positives before I endeavour to pick this up.

Noein: To Your Other Self – 2006, 26 Episodes



“Fifteen years in one of the possible futures, a violent battle using fictional technology takes place between two "time-spaces": La'cryma, a possible future of our own universe, and Shangri'la, another possible dimension fifteen years after ours, intent on the destruction of all space and time. The key to stopping Shangri'la's invasion is a mysterious object known as the "Dragon Torque". A group known as the "Dragon Knights" is sent through space and time to find it.

In the present, twelve-year old Haruka and her friend Yū are contemplating running away from home when they meet a member of the Dragon Knights named Karasu, who is a possible Yū from fifteen years in the future. Karasu believes that Haruka is the Dragon Torque, but vows to protect her rather than sacrifice her for his timespace, La'cryma. Other than the Dragon Knights, Haruka is targeted by the mysterious Noein, the entity behind Shangri'la who is intent on bringing her into his timespace to end all universes.”

This one really intrigued me. The concepts and art especially look very unique and interesting. However I’ve never seen or heard of it at all. An animatic enigma, to the point where I’m almost certain no one here will have seen it rither… but you never know.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a final note, the last episodes of “Eden of the East” – the new anime by the Ghost in the Shell guys – came out a few weeks back, and the series is getting rave reviews. I have little doubt it’ll be awesome, so look it up, people!

Looking forward to those reviews! *nudge nudge*

Square Trademarks Name: "Sliding Heroes"

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 02:17:51 -0400



According to these three sources, Square trademarked the name "Sliding Heroes" on August 4rth. Hhhmmmmm... what kind of game could that be? Perhaps an epic combination of both the Sliders and Heroes tv-show-theories, mashed together in a time travel journey that could rival Chrono Trigger? Or a slightly less amazing story about rugrats trying to take over their local playground?

Whatever it is, I'm almost willing to bet a copy of Zeno Clash that it'll be yet another DS title. Ugh, AFDSG will become an internet meme soon (figure it out, it's not hard). We'll keep an eye on Sliding Heroes anyway. Just in case. They could surprise us yet...

Valkyria Chronicles 2 - New Class System Revealed?

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:54:41 -0400

More Valkyria Chronicles 2 news for all six of you out there who've played the original! As the latest scan below shows, it appears the whole class/weapon upgrade system may have been scrapped for something more along the lines of Final Fantasy Tactics.

In the original Valkyria, players had a choice of five different classes, which they would buy weapons for and train in order to improve the overall team. Now it seems you may have a more limited crew, with the option to upgrade each one in whatever way you choose. Example:



Our scout hero, Avan, has two choices here. Instead of staying as the scout, he could upgrade to a faster, more streamlined version, or go the other direction and choose heavy machine gun and armour. Interesting.

With the end result of thirty five different military classes, it looks like we'll have far more diversity this time around then with our fixed five from the first game. Hopefully this will mean a larger number of available level tactics too, since one of the major flaws of Valkyria was the fact that one super scout could finish 70% of the missions.

Well, while I still can't say I'm happy that Valk 2 is coming on PSP, I guess a handheld sequel is better then no sequel at all. And it does seem to be shaping up nicely... not that I doubt the team behind it heh. Now we just have to hope it actually makes it out of Japan. *finger cross*

Now here's some more screenshots!











Discovery or Achievement? – Finding Secrets and Side Quests in RPGs

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 10:41:31 -0400

In this fast paced and crazy world, free time is a luxury very few of us can come by. If I could just bludge at home, playing games and writing, I’d be a happy man. Sadly, the need to go to work, earn money, buy food and subsequently, stay alive, is simply too great. So it could be said that the lack of available free time is the bane of a gamer’s existence.

FFXIII looks to be a massive adventure, as were the games before it, and no one would bat an eye at the prospect of it being 100+ hours. But who has that kind of time just lying around? Other then kids, stoners, and people still living with their parents (I’m kidding, no hate mail necessary). I know I certainly don’t, and will probably have to break my experience up over a month or two, where hopefully I won’t get distracted by something else and wander off.

Despite my complaining, I’ve still managed to play and finish these games in the past, having clocked exactly 102 hours on FFXII over a period of three weeks. During that time, I was able to finish around 80% of the games available sidequest’s and find majority of the secrets, all on my first playthrough! How did I manage this?

Well, some may say I “cheated” while others may nod and agree it was the best method. This is what this article will discuss. Allow me to introduce you to my best and most useful friend in gaming:



The Game Guide

I love Game Guide. We’re very close. In the past, we’ve spent hours together: me glancing at the screen inbetween reading its pages, it sitting on my lap, quiet and comfortable. We’ve been inseparable during these extended periods. Well, ok, once I’ve completed the game I put Game Guide away, possibly forever, and might even go out to find myself a new one. But such is the way of gamer relationships heh.

Other then FFXII, I have used a game guide for Metal Gear Solid 4, Zelda: Twilight Princess, and most of the Grand Theft Auto games. It’s ok, I can admit it. I am not ashamed. I’m just an Achievist, more then a Discoverer, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Discoverers vs. Achievists

When it comes to gamers who actively seek side quests and secrets in long RPG’s, the player base seems divided into two different groups: the Discoverers and the Achievists.

Discoverers are the true explorers of the gaming world. Often blessed with plenty of that oh-so-precious free time (or just extreme dedication), discoverers will play and replay their favourite games until they have explored every nook and cranny, done every quest, and fought every ultimate enemy. They love to find easter eggs, hidden skills, weapons or cutscenes for themselves. In fact, they see using guides or walkthroughs as a form of cheating, or taking the challenge and fun out a the game.

Now let me make it clear: I admire these people. Applaud them even. Some of the quests strings to obtain uber rare items are so crazy, figuring them out without help is an amazing feat. An achievement within itself, and demonstrates a great amount of skill and perseverance.

What I DON’T like is when Discoverers start to preach/mock the rest of us: the Achievists.

We Achievists aren’t really interested in spending hours upon hours, walking around attacking walls or blindly hoping to stumble upon something. Oh we still love to find secrets… but it’s not the finding that thrills us. It’s the completion of it. Getting results. It doesn’t matter if we discover a secret’s location through a game guide, internet walkthrough, forum or friend; attempting and achieving victory over it is the important part to us.

Does this mean we enjoy the game less? That we don’t get the same level of satisfaction out of it as Discoverers do? Are we inferior to their elite detective skills?

Well, in reality, there’s probably a little truth in all of them. But being an Achievist comes with its own list of perks. As we explore deeper, no doubt the pros and cons of each style will come to the surface.



Seeing More of the Game: Achievists

While Discoverers are usually adept at exploring most games, there’ll always be a secret so well hidden or crazy, they’ll never even know it existed. And even if they do find it, sometimes its so difficult (i.e. killing a huge enemy) they won’t be able to get past it simply from lack of knowledge.

As an example: the Hunt in FFXII. For those that don’t know it, the Hunt is comprised of eighty rare and extremely powerful monsters scattered around the world. Some of them are impossibly hard to find, with a ‘stumble upon’ chance of around one in a million. Thanks to my Game Guide, I tracked down and killed around seventy of them (before finishing the game and never going back).

Now, some might see that as cheap, because I was told exactly where to find them, and how to kill them. Me? I’m just thankful I had the chance to actually battle them. I’ve probably seen and fought things that most Discoverers never got to, simply because of the monsters obscure ‘appearance’ requirements. Is that getting the most out of the game? When you never even get to see everything that it has to offer?

We Achievists and our Game Guides get to truly explore everything, because there are no secrets between us. We know all, see all. We know exactly where that special weapon is, and what weakness the resists-everything-bar-one-attack monster possesses. We don’t get any surprises along the way, but we don’t suffer as much frustration either.

Yet, after all that, are the victories sweet? Personally maybe, but if someone asks you about it…



Bragging Rights: Discoverers

Achievists have next to no bragging rights, other then saying “I did that”. Cause what comes next is “How?” and we answer “Game Guide”. There’s nothing impressive about that.

Discoverers, meanwhile, get to bask in true glory, as everyone showers them with words of disbelief and admiration. “No way! You found that all by yourself, without a walkthrough? That’s insane!” Course, they probably clocked up 200+ hours in the process, but if you’re a social recluse already, the extra attention would make it all worthwhile.

So while I can sit here and boast about me finding and killing seventy monsters in the Hunt, even someone who’s found forty or fifty without help ranks way above me. And no doubt we’ll get lots of tales of just that sort if the right people read this heh.

But still. 200+ hours? Really?



:
It's OK to admit defeat. You won’t lose face. If you can realise at some point that you’ve really found everything you’re capable of finding on your own, then you can proudly go to a guide and see the few remaining parts of the game. No shame in that.

This goes for bosses and tough monsters too. Some people will be faced with a enemy or task so daunting, they’ll put the game down and may never end up coming back. It’s ok to look at a Guide once or twice during your game if it means you can keep playing.

Be nice to the Achievists. Don’t preach to them about “cheating” or “ruining the game”. They’re still experiencing the same things you are, just in a different way that suits their interests and life style. And even though they knew ahead of time how to kill monsters, find secrets, or complete quests, they still had to do it all themselves in the end. We’re all playing the same game here heh.

Final Thoughts

This is just my take on things though. Maybe the community isn’t like that? Maybe I’m just weird (it’s definitely a possibility). Give us your take on things, tell us if you fit into those categories, or something else entirely. And think about it…

When FFXIII arrives, and that fat, heavy Game Guide is offered to you as an add-on purchase, what will you do? Will you take it, read it, play it and see as much as you can the first time around? Or will you leave it, choosing to venture into the mysterious world of Pulse alone.

Hmmm. Decisions. Well, at least working at Gamestop has its perks. I get staff discount ; )



FFXIII: English Voice Localization #2 - Lightning and Sazh

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 06:05:28 -0400
Going through the archives, I noticed that Snail had posted the Snow and Co. English Redub, but for some reason no one has posted the second one yet. Hmm. Odd.

Well, in the interest of getting all the best FFXIII stuff on our site, I've decided to put it up anyway, despite being two months old and seen by everyone. Still great for a rewatch. Never get tired of baby Chocobo's laying down the smack talk (Daymn!)

(Keep an eye out for special guest cameo, Stephen Hawking, starring as the "Unpaid Sex Robot". Classic Stuff)

Memorable Final Fantasy Enemies – The Midgar Zolom

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 05:16:20 -0400

The Midgar Zolom appears fairly early in FFVII, as an obstacle the party needs to pass. Living in a large swampy area of the world map, it’s one of the few enemies so big it can actually be seen moving around. It attacked anyone who tried to cross the swamp, unless they could outrun it on a Chocobo. If caught when at a low party level, the Zolom was near impossible to beat.

Physically, the Zolom is one of the biggest living enemies in the game: a thirty foot long hooded snake, standing more then five times taller then your characters at its full height. It sports a number of devastating attacks, just as a heavy bite, a tail whip, and the space/time bending “Beta” skill. Immune to nearly all status changes, parties have little option but to fight it with their main weapons or materia magic.



Why Is It Memorable?

Everyone remembers the Midgar Zolom. People loved nothing more then to toy with it, challenge it, flee from it. It’s the first almost-unbeatable enemy you come across (for the character level you meet it at), and everyone likes to think they can be the ones to conquer it. These people also don’t mind reloading their game often.

I have little doubt most people did the same thing I did; namely standing on the edge of the swamp, waiting till the Zolom’s massive shadow came juuussttt within reach, then quickly running off at the last second. Some may have even tried to cross the swamp on foot, just to see it if it could be done. Being mere meters away from the other side while that ominous shape bore down on you really got the blood pumping.

Actually facing the beast was equally as exciting. You’d hack at it, zap it, shoot it… whatever, and the Zolom would merely flinch, then come back for more. If you did actually succeed in getting its health down, you didn’t have long to cheer before it kicked a member of your party out of the battle for good with one quick flick of it’s tail.

But that’s the worst it could do, right? You still had plenty of potions and phoenix downs. Well, you probably had all of two turns to think that before the great snake rose up high over head, twisting and hissing. “Uh oh” is usually all people had time to think, before it unleashed an amazing, multi-coloured hourglass type attack called Beta, that took 1000hp off every member, and usually resulted in insta-death.

Most people admitted defeat at that point, knowing it was a battle to save for later. Reluctantly we wandered off to find our Chocobo, raced across the swamp, and left our old foe behind. But what did we find on the other side?



Old Sephiroth sure doesn’t mess around. It gave me chills the first time the camera panned upward, and we saw the Zolom’s impaled head, highlighted by lightning in the background. “Damn, and I thought the snake was bad; I’m going to have to fight that guy one day!” I remember thinking.

Of course, the Zolom wasn’t invincible, and most players would return to it every few levels to try their luck. This only intensified upon finding the “Learn Enemy Skill” materia, and discovering that you could claim Beta as your own... if only you could survive the fight.

Ah Midgar Zolom, you nasty hissy bugger. You made FFVII that bit more epic.

Gamer of the Week #8 - Girls Are So Cute When They're Angry

no.spam@gameriot.com (Project_Xii) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:34:56 -0400
What is it about angry gamer girls that makes them so damn cute? Seriously. Just look at this video: she's obviously cute to begin with, but just watching her sitting there screaming "MOTHER F**K!", "CHRIST ON A CRACKER!!!" and "SON OF A *****!"... all I can think is "Wow... she's so cool!" ^_^

Hearing her echo my own often-used angry phrases makes my heart flutter. I'd love to meet someone like her one day. We'd sit side by side, me on the computer, her on the laptop, both wearing mics, and both screaming abuse at the people we play with. Sigh. Is there anything more romantic then that?

**Warning - This is obviously not work safe**